A few years ago I read a line in Dr. Phil's Life Strategies. It simply said, "We do what works." I was in a desperate place - a Target aisle with tears filling my eyes. My daughter was dying and my own personal "life strategy" wasn't working. Thus the reason I picked the book up in the first place.
Somehow, through Dr. Phil's words, I found direction and grace to begin to realize what all parents of children with addictive behaviors must come to understand; simply that our children participate in these behaviors because they work for them. Everything from smoking, drinking, drugs and yes, the behaviors that make up an eating disorder like bulimia, does the work of anesthesizing the soul so life is less painful and "works" for them. Once I grasped that, the way out was finally lit for me.
It's been six years ago since I read those words of Dr. Phil's in that Target aisle. Six profound years of growth for me, my husband, my son and even our extended family, but most of all, for my daughter. I don't know if her pain will ever fully disappear and the eating disorder and all that goes with it will ever completely cease. What I do know for sure, is that she is a truly brave, courageous and tenacious fighter who continues to live and discover new, healthy ways to make her life work for her. For that I am very thankful.
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