Friends...

So...7 years ago I'm at a woman's conference in Colorado Springs and share with my table of lovely Christian women my worries about my daughter's battle with an eating disorder...as we bow our heads and begin to pray for each other, this loving arm comes around my shoulder and I hear a sweet Texan voice praying for me/her. I am immediately smitten by the love of Christ and her tender care. We exchange phone #'s and email addresses but you know how it is, you may or may not see each other and life will go on. Well...I had no idea what God had done by prompting me to sit at that table.

The last 7 years have been full of the life and death struggle one goes through in getting a loved one into recovery. My personal faith has been all over the map in terms of whether it was real or not. Several months after my daughter was admitted into residential treatment I spent a week at Molly's house. Just needing to get away and rest after a very difficult year, I went to stay with Molly and Dean for a week in the spring. I simply fell into this pillow of love, grace and mercy. It was so special.

We moved to Utah just after giving Molly a t-shirt that said, "Someone in Nebraska loves me." Too funny. Her emails of concern never stopped. They were always full of honesty and hope. Then 3 years ago just after we moved into our house here in Logan, Molly and Dean came to see us! It was so awesome to share time with them.

One of the promises Dean shared with me early on in this journey was that he was praying that God would "restore what the locusts had eaten". Not sure at the moment what Bible story that is from but he faithfully prayed that God would do that. Last December we received the settlement from the insurance company that refused to honor their policy and pay for Hannah's treatment. The events of how that all came together were pretty amazing too. We believe it was this man's faith and constant requesting before God that moved the events on our behalf.

Last year our son, Stephen informed us that he would be moving to Austin with his girlfriend Terri. She's from San Antonio and they thought Austin would be a good place to settle in case she wanted to go to Grad School at the University of Texas. So...now my son lives in Austin where my good friends live and when we visit Stephen the first week in January we will be staying with them!

There are so many reasons NOT to believe in God - not to believe in Jesus from a human point of view. And though I've had many doubts this last 7 years as I watched this illness engulf our daughter's life, I could never shake the reality that when I gave my life to Christ as a sophomore in high school, it completely changed me. I didn't become perfect or get good grades all of the sudden but I was truly changed from the inside out. I really thought that it was possible that I wouldn't want to be a Christian after going through this with Hannah - I still don't know how to grasp the magnitude of her suffering - I don't even pretend to understand that. I'm simply - oh, so simply, aware that God is truly the great I AM and truly IN my life.

I am in awe that as I continue to trust God with my life and the way opens before me, or closes to redirect me, there are gifts along the path that are so meaningful to me. Friendship is my favorite gift and God has truly blessed me with Dean and Molly's friendship - a pure act of grace from a father's heart to his hurting child.